Too Little, Too Late

APU Backs Stephen Colbert's (now defunct) Campaign for the Presidency . . . sort of

In my literary internet ramblings recently I happened to stumble across this article from the LA Times about Stephen Colbert running for president in South Carolina. I was surprised, to say the least, to see the ad off to the right of the page -- look closely at this screenshot I took (if you follow the link directly to the article, the title of the article has been updated since I read it, but the articles are the same).
Do you see it? That's right -- our own Free Methodist Azusa Pacific University. If I didn't know it was probably just a coincidence in advertising, I'd say it was a clear challenge to our other FM institutions -- get with the times, kids. There is no bad publicity! Unfortunately, it was too little, too late for Colbert, who, despite the numerous prayers of hundreds of APU students, was denied a spot on the South Carolina ballot by the state's Democratic party, crushing the only chance during this campaign year for having debates actually worth watching.

This recent discovery reminded me of a time a few months back when I was watching a rerun of House on the USA network, and a commercial break told me that this particular rebroadcasting of House had been made possible by the United Methodist Church (I am not joking about this one). Apparently God is a big Hugh Laurie fan.

Clearly, this is a bandwagon the church needs to hop onto! Pretty soon, denominations across the US could be sponsoring Super Bowl ads, private spacecraft, and reruns of all kinds.

Jesus, who was too busy weeping over the pervasive consumerism plaguing Christianity, was not available to comment.

B.O. and the Campaign Trail: Part I

Friday, October 19, 2007

(No, it's not the name of an upcoming CNN special. But it could be. . . . I'm looking at you, Anderson Cooper! *wink*)

I'm still sort of new to this whole "politics" arena (I don't really count all the episodes of Crossfire, Meet the Press, The McLaughlin Group, or David Brinkley I watched with my parents growing up, I was just doing it for "kid points"). I mean, it is rough being unemployed--you really have to be choosy about your news sources. The novice wanting to become "an informed voter" can easily get sucked into reading hours upon hours of The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Onion, and quickly slip into catatonic media overload once she realizes there's a whole other world out there of NPR news shows, pundits (or as I call them, "Those loud annoying men I wouldn't watch even if I had cable!"), and political bloggsters.
Personally, I choose to eschew all those methods (well, maybe I do occasionally glance at The Onion) and head straight over to the news I trust the most to report in easy-to-chew, artificially flavored pieces -- The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

STEVEN!! OMG UR RUnING FOR PRE$IDENT!! I M UR BIGGEST FAN!! U ROCK!! I M ONLY 15 BUT I WILL KEEP PLAYNG EMO MuZIK IN MY ROOM UNTIL MY PARENTZ MOVE TO SC & VOTE FOR U!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLBERT FOR PREZ!!!!!!!!

[Ummm. . . please help. I think rabid teenagers have hacked my blog. You kids stay on your own site! ]

But I digress. In an effort to become more "enlightened" about the candidates for the presidential election, and to become more responsible as a citizen, I've started to read up a bit on the presidential candidates. I consider myself to be an "independent," meaning I really have yet to wholeheartedly resonate with any of the 6 (10? 14?) political parties' platforms, and also meaning I have no clue who I am going to vote for when Arizona gets around to holding elections (and, consequently, after I get around to things like getting an AZ drivers' license, registering to vote, etc.). Apparently I'm "one of those" voters from whom the candidates are trying to get major support. How flattering! I did not realize I was so important! I am prepared to receive my free t-shirts, bumper stickers, Bahamas vacations, and campaign mugs, lady and gentlemen.

Plus, since I'm unemployed right now, I actually have time to hunt through the candidates' websites, catch the headlines on iGoogle, watch the candidates empty their pockets on TV on the internet, all those important things. Which was why I was delighted (OK, mildly curious) when I was job searching on Arizona State University's website and noticed that Barack Obama was scheduled to make an appearance on campus this week.

I quickly opened my calendar, slammed it shut once I realized that hey, I have no job, and RSVP'd for the event online, which, as "they" seemed to imply, was important.

***NOTE: THIS IS YOUR RAPID ENTRY PASS FOR THIS EVENT.
PLEASE PRINT AND BRING WITH YOU, OR YOU WILL BE ASKED TO
FILL OUT A SUPPORTER CARD.***

***For security reasons, please do not bring bags.  No signs
or banners allowed.***

Oh no! I thought. Anything but a supporter card! I diligently printed my RAPID ENTRY PASS, along with a campus map, and waited for "the big day". I would be ready, I vowed.