processing

It is impossible to even think about trying to fit all that has been going through my head and my heart in the last week and a half.

Last week I had the blessing of being able to hang out with the interim class for the Masters in Spiritual Formation & Leadership program from Spring Arbor University. In previous years, this class was just a stand-alone option, and I audited it a couple of years ago. Richard Foster has taught it for a few years now, and sometimes is joined by his mentor Bill Vaswig, whom I was looking forward to being with this year. I went to a prayer retreat weekend the first year they came to campus, and it was an unforgettable experience -- I am always impressed by the example of Christ in their lives, but also how down to earth they both are.

I'll probably take a couple of posts to touch on some main points that stood out to me, since there was so much. Tonight what comes to mind are the students I met. I was one of the youngest people there, which was really refreshing, because sometimes it is easy for me to look at my own generation as the "only hope" for spiritual renewal in the churches (which I know really isn't true, so go easy), when in this class there was a rich group of diverse people, ages, backgrounds, etc. I sat there one evening and imagined the impact just that group of students might have, and it was astonishing. Not only were they great people, they were so kind to me and encouraging, and I learned so much from them. They made me feel at home with them, even though most of them had already formed online communities in their first semester of classes this fall. It is sometimes hard for me to feel "normal" around Christian adults, for many, many reasons, but I felt they were some kindred spirits. I am encouraged to think about the future of the church when I think of this group and their passion to know Christ more.

"so this is the new year . . . "

Welcome, 2007!

There is a lot I could write about, since it's been so long since I've written a post. The basic gist is, the holidays were great, time with the fam was great, and overall I felt overwhelmingly blessed the whole time. Not bad, eh?

I'd rather write about this -- there's a passage I read during Advent that I can't get out of my head. It's from a familiar Christmas passage, but it struck me in a new way this year. It's Luke 1:45, from Elizabeth's words to Mary as she comes for a visit -- "Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord."

That's really what it came down to -- this reaction made the difference between Mary's song and Zechariah's muteness. God spoke and Mary, as crazy as the words were, believed they would be fulfilled.

This hits me right in the heart -- I am at this point in my life where I am being challenged in many areas of my life. God has been speaking directly into the areas that matter the most to me, giving encouragement, wisdom, direction -- and also calling me to action. This has come through prayer, scripture, dreams, counsel from friends, songs, visions, you name it. Some of it is of the "Whoa, answered prayer" type, some of it just confirmation of things that I've already been learning about, some just plain expressions of God's love towards me.

When I read this verse, it brought me back to obedience. The thing is, God can speak all He wants to us, and we can even listen and hear, but it comes down to our ability to believe Him above all others, and to live that out. I think I've been collecting these divine tidbits, seeking encouragement and direction and finally starting to receive it, but I've come short of really living as if I believe that God is going to fulfill those things. I've hoarded myself, my talents, my time, and just sort of hung back from pursuing these amazing next steps set before me. Almost as though I doubt the very good thing that I seek and that God wants to give, and I just can't handle the idea that God actually is good. And, in the challenging things, almost as if I have forgotten that stepping out in faith was never guaranteed to be an easy thing to begin with, but that God is always with me in each challenge.

I don't know if any of this makes sense. It sounds a lot better in my head as I go through the days mulling it over. It is so big I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. What if I woke up each day, and wholeheartedly believed God is who He says He is, will do what He has said He will do, and wants me to fully participate in this kingdom life? I know this is what we should be pursuing already, but I don't think about it enough. How radical would that be? How much would my life change?? Belief in its truest sense must drive me to action of some sort, must impact my life somehow, as it did Mary's, and yet it is easy for me to be lulled into complacent living.

Anyway, this is my theme verse for this year. Wouldn't it be great to be known as blessed for believing God? I want to be known for that.

A pretty good new year's resolution, I think.