here it is

A few surface things, and then to the point. . . I want all of you who do not live in a state with cold seasons, today it was 29 degrees outside (or less), I could see my breath, and it is very lightly snowing.
Yes. it. is. snowing.

And another thing. . . I realized last week that my blog looks a lot like Christianity Today's Out of Ur. That was definitely not intentional as I didn't even notice there was even a graphic on their page until last week. I had this title/theme in my head for a while before I even saw their blog. Just so we're clear. . . I just hate trying to imitate other people's work, I'm a huge advocate of originality, sometimes to a fault. I'm going to keep it for a while until I figure out what to do about that.

On a more serious note. . . I haven't been able to talk about this in specifics because I had some details to work out and some close friends/church family and authority figures to notify and I didn't feel it was fair to them to post about it until they knew.
As of the end of November, I will be stepping down as a pastor at Comunidad Agua Viva. There are a lot of different factors that have gone into this decision, but really the main one is that God's been putting more of a burden on my heart for the area of young adult/emerging church ministry over these past few months, as well as impressing on me the need to look at my life as a whole and change some things. And while I love the church plant and have had an experience beyond any of my wildest imaginings, right now I need to have a full time job to support myself, and unfortunately that opportunity hasn't arisen in a ministry position at this time. In order to work with the local emerging community at the church plant, I would need way more time and energy than I can give after working 40-hour weeks at the mortgage company, and I wouldn't be able to do it justice in that situation (and would probably end up burned out and depressed again in the process of trying to make it work). In an effort to reconcile these two facts, God has helped me see the next step -- I will keep my current job, leave CAV, and join Brian Kono and the young adult ministry at Spring Arbor Free Methodist church as just a helper over the next few months, starting in January. This will help me gain experience where I feel called to minister as well as provide me a chance to figure out what comes after this summer --whether that means a church position, seminary, or something else I haven't thought of yet.
I am leaving out of God's leading and not out of problems between myself and anyone/anything at the church -- I want to make that clear. This is an exciting time for me because it holds new possibilities, challenges, and growth opportunities. At the same time it is gut-wrenchingly hard as I start saying goodbye and make the transition bit by bit. I definitely have shed not a few tears as I've been thinking about, discussing, and announcing my leaving. And just the reality of worshipping and participating in a (mostly) new church community with a vastly different type of ministry from ours, is going to be a challenge--I think church planting has ruined me (in a good way) for trying to fit into a "normal" church. Not to mention all the other adjustments anyone who's had to move to or lead a different church would understand.
So I would appreciate your prayers greatly. I'll be at CAV attending until the end of December, and after that it'll be the occasional visit when I can find time to do so.

a cautious enthusiasm

Here's the deal. . . I really love the academic side of most things. I mean, back when I started college, I was dead set on going into Physics and working at NASA, so that gives you some insight into how some ways my mind thinks (although at the same time you need to realize there were some good reasons I didn't end up in that profession). So it is easy for me to go on websites about the emerging church (like The Ooze) and participate in the forums and learn the new linguistics of the whole movement, and resonate with what's being discussed and sift through all the different perspectives. And then I was looking at Mars Hill Graduate School's website, and it all seems so fresh and exciting and revolutionary, and I want to keep jumping in and moving ahead along with the whole thing.
However, as with any movement, there is the set of people who will only adopt the cerebral and image aspects of the movement, while inside they are the same people in different clothing playing a part.
I think I just get scared sometimes that I will become an intellectual hipster but not a disciple of Christ. . . that I will keep learning about all of these ways we are growing and being challenged as a community of faith and never live that outwardly in action. I don't want to just learn how to talk differently, I want to live differently.
I am not making a comment on any of these websites or on the emerging church, I am just commenting on my desire to guard my heart from living a deceptive existence. Doing something like church planting is a good reality check, because you can't live well in that context if you truly don't believe in what you're doing, or you end up finding out what isn't in sync with "God's rhythm" and change accordingly when the need is exposed. However, there is still that potential within all of us for the image change vs. inward change. Gotta watch that.
Anyway. A musing.